Beat the machine that works in your head...

Only a few days before danceclass something suddenly hits me that could explain the bad experiences from the past weeks. Since the start of the new season, the bus-schedules have changed. I have to leave home 2 minutes earlier since then. That seems like nothing, but I have an almost immediate change to another bus in Amsterdam, that leaves about a minute after I exit the first bus.

That way, I make it to the hall around 7.40 PM, while the teacher only arrives 10 to 15 minutes later. That gives me time to practice, but also time to think. Thinking that I'll probably go wrong this time as well.

Lets get my mind off things

I decide to take on a different approach today. Firstly, I take the book that covers the theory of my driving-lessons, so I can do something completely different in the meantime and I won't practice as well. I also make a note to myself to be not, or at least less, judgemental about the mistakes I will make and just let them happen.

Besides that, there is also a small physical problem. Tuesday the pain suddenly shot up in my back again when I was stretching. The fysiotherapist explained it to me: it is not a joint or overstretched or torned muscle, but a nerve that gets jammed because of tensed muscles, which hurts like mad.

I notice that I have my back tensed up quite a lot and need to take a deep breath and emphasize on exhaling if I put my shoes on and want to tie the laces. If I don't, the pain is just excruciating when I bend down to reach to my feet.

Without me really noticing it, I also relax my mind and that has its results. When I dance the Beginners Reel I even 'dance off' the other beginner, who gets confused from my moves (she learned different moves than I did)
The Single Jig is a little rusty, but I sigh, turn a full circle and try again. Only the Slip Jig is rather hopeless, but that's also the dance I know the worst.

Besides that, I didn't practice for a week on purpose, to stop me thinking negatively about the dancing. That I suck at the Slip Jig at this moment, isn't that strange.

1-2-3's on heavies. And turn around your own axis...

When dancing on my heavy shoes, I do make a few mistakes, but it works out better then I expected. Especially when I think about the fact I now cycle to work for 3 days a week (which adds up to about 120 kilometer on a weekly basis). I expected to have two sore legs, but I don't experience any trouble at all.
For the heavy shoe dance I get the final move. I have to turn around my own axis for the first time. While turning, I have to do 1-2-3's on my heavy shoes.

Where I find dancing around an imaginary circle quite easy, turning around my own axis is far harder. Even though I master the complete set of moves quite quickly when I practice outside in the big hall, while being bombarded by noise from a techno-party being built in the same hall.
When shortly afterwards the lights in the big hall are turned off, we can only practice in our own hall as it's far too dangerous to do so outside.

A competition? No shoes!

I decide to question the teacher about entering a competition. There is only 1 practical problem I overlooked: the shoes. I don't have real soft-shoes yet and the dance-sneakers I already dance on for 3 years now are not official soft shoes and thus not allowed in a competition.

Just like the heavy shoes, you can't get those soft shoes in the Netherlands in a physical shop.
At most competitions, you can buy them straight away, but I find it a dangerous idea: being on my very first soft shoes I can only break in for about 1 or 2 hours on my very first Feis sounds like the recipe for disaster.

I decide to contact some family again, who do have a creditcard, ask them for a favour and buy another pair of shoes at Feiswear.
After 3 days already, a surprisingly small package arrives. The shoes are not packed in a box, but wrapped in bubble-wrap. A little strange way to ship a product in my opinion: nothing more than a simple envelope conceals the product from the outside world and the envelope looks like it has been through a lot of handling.

When I put on the shoes, I immediately notice the pain in my toes. They really get crammed in these shoes that seem to be too small, not because they will stretch a little, but because the shoes are really too small.

I do like the fact that I feel a lot of contact with the floor, where I would feel the tip in my heavy shoes. At my toes, the sole is probably only 5 millimeter's thick and very flexible.
The heel is tricky though. It's the same stuff as the heel under my heavy shoes and thus extremely slippy.
Walking on them feels very strange.

Shoes: check. Now only for a pair of trousers

I manage to find me a pair of real trousers at H&M. It is faaar too long and wide, but there is no choice. They don't have one in my waist size and if there would be one, I would likely not be able to get my legs in it (especially my upper-legs are huge).
I immediately take it to a tailor at the local mall and he does a fantastic job getting it down to size and it fits perfectly after that.